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What Comes Next and How to Like It

A Memoir



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About The Book

The New York Times bestseller from the beloved author of A Three Dog Life—an exhilarating, superbly written memoir on friendship, family, creativity, tragedy, and the richness of life: “If you only read one book this year, make it this one” (Ann Patchett).

In her bestselling memoir A Three Dog Life, Abigail Thomas wrote about the devastating loss of her husband. In What Comes Next and How to Like It, “a keenly observed memoir…Thomas writes of the changes aging brings us all and of coping through love: of family, dogs, a well-turned phrase. She is superb company” (People).

Thomas was startled to overhear herself described as “a nice old lady with a tattoo,” because she thinks of herself as not nice, not old, nor a lady. But she has wondered: what comes next? What comes after the death of a spouse? What form does a lifelong friendship take after deepest betrayal? How does a mother cope with her child’s dire illness? Or the death of a cherished dog?

And how to like it? How to accept, appreciate, enjoy? How to find solace and pleasure? How to sustain and be sustained by our most trusted, valuable companions? At its heart, What Comes Next and How to Like It is about the complicated friendship between Thomas and a man she met thirty-five years ago—a rich bond that has lasted through marriages, child-raising, and the vicissitudes and tragedies of life. “After all,” she writes, “there are those people we love, and then there are those we recognize. These are the unbreakable connections.”

Exquisitely observed, lush with sentences you will read over and over again, What Comes Next and How to Like It “is a beautifully felt, deeply moving memoir, the best work yet by a woman who has already done some of the best work in the field. Abigail Thomas is the Emily Dickinson of memoirists, and so much of this book’s wisdom is between the lines and in the white spaces. It may only take you two days to read, but the impact will stay with you for a long, long time” (Stephen King). This is a glorious guide to living imperfectly and exuberantly.

Reading Group Guide

This reading group guide for What Comes Next and How to Like It includes an introduction, discussion questions, and ideas for enhancing your book club. The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book.



Written in a series of brief, poetic chapters, What Comes Next and How to Like It is Abigail Thomas’s extraordinary examination of her life today—often solitary, yet still rich and engaging, filled with art, writing, children, grandchildren, dogs, a few suitors, and her longtime best friend.


Topics and Questions for Discussion

1. Elizabeth Gilbert said of Abigail’s memoirs, “I come to her books as though to a feast, and leave fulfilled and transformed.” Did you feel transformed after reading What Comes Next and How to Like It? If so, in what ways?

2. This memoir is organized into four parts and many short “chapters.” Discuss the book’s structure. What purpose do you think it serves?

3. The second chapter, “Write a Book,” focuses on a discussion Abigail and Chuck have in which Chuck asks Abigail to write their story. How does this conversation affect Abigail’s telling of that story?

4. Abigail often finds herself painting, particularly landscape scenes on sheets of glass. How does she approach painting and writing differently? What does painting offer her that writing doesn’t?

5. Abigail’s feelings about Chuck and Catherine’s relationship change over the course of the book. How did their affair alter Abigail’s bonds with each of them?

6. Discuss Abigail’s relationships with the men in her life—her husband, her son, and Chuck. How do these relationships differ from her relationships with women—in particular, her three daughters?

7. It is no secret to readers of Abigail Thomas’s work that her dogs are important to her. Discuss her connection to her dogs; in what ways is it similar to the relationships she has with her human companions, and in what ways is it different?

8. Part III, “The Wilderness of Not Knowing,” focuses on Catherine’s battle with cancer. What does the experience teach Abigail? How does it change her?

9. At times, Abigail worries she is an alcoholic; other times, she enjoys three Manhattans before dinner without concern. Discuss Abigail’s relationship with alcohol and how it affects her moods, decisions, and perspectives.

10. In Part II, “I Don’t Get to Live Forever,” Abigail ponders the meaning of death and struggles to accept it as the inevitability it is. Consider the following passages and discuss their relevance to Abigail’s experience:

            A) “This is uncomfortably real. I’m just poking at death with a long stick to see what happens.” (p. 102)

            B) “This body of mine, the one in pink pajamas, the one hanging on to her pillow for dear life, these pleasant accommodations in which I have made my home for seventy years, it’s going to die. It will die, and the rest of me, homeless, will disappear into thin air.” (p. 114)

            C) “I want to make Death a member of my family. I don’t want it to arrive as a stranger.” (p. 120)

11. Reread the final chapter, “Love.” What do you think Abigail means by her poignant last words? How do you interpret what she is trying to say about relationships, or about love in general?

12. Different moments in the book strike very different notes—of sadness and despair, joy and relief, love and fear. Ultimately, how would you describe What Comes Next and How to Like It? What feeling did the memoir leave you with?


Enhance Your Book Club

1. Abigail Thomas’s writing is widely praised for being filled with memorable, lyrical sentences. Before your book club meeting, ask the members of your reading group to select their favorite passage or passages from the book. When you meet, share your selections and discuss why you chose the lines you did. What about them did you find particularly meaningful?

2. Abigail details an exercise she asks her writing students to complete: “Take any ten years of your life, reduce them to two pages, and every sentence has to be three words long” (p. 36). Try this exercise with your book club. Ask for volunteers to share their writing with the group.

3. Painting is a pastime that brings Abigail joy. View her paintings here:

4. To explore more of Abigail’s work, visit her blog at or read one of her other memoirs: A Three Dog Life, a meditation on her relationship with her husband, Rich, after a tragic accident; and Safekeeping, in which she explores four pivotal moments that have shaped her life.

About The Author

© Jennifer Waddell Photography

Abigail Thomas worked as both a book editor and book agent before writing her first short story collection, Getting Over Tom. Her second and third books An Actual Life, and Herb's Pajamas, were works of fiction. Her memoir, A Three Dog Life, was named one of the Best Books of the Year by The Los Angeles Times and The Washington Post. She is also author of the memoirs SafekeepingThinking About Memoir, and What Comes Next and How to Like It.  The daughter of renowned science writer Lewis Thomas (The Lives of a Cell), Thomas has four children, twelve grandchildren, and two great grandchildren. She lives in Woodstock, New York, with her dogs.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Scribner (April 19, 2016)
  • Length: 256 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781476785066

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Raves and Reviews

"What Comes Next and How to Like It is a beautifully felt, deeply moving memoir, the best work yet by a woman who has already done some of the best work in the field. It's about friendship, and the shocks friendship can endure when it's true and deep. It's about the rueful pleasures (not to mention the jarring pitfalls) of getting old. It's about enduring tragedy, sickness, and loss. Thomas speaks of these big things by scattering the ordinary jewelry of everyday life: loving dogs (even when they chew your most precious possessions), Googling old boyfriends, rescuing an orphan mouse, and trees that try to grow in the crack between boards. Small speaks for large here, in a calm voice that talks to the mind while it fills the heart. Abigail Thomas is the Emily Dickinson of memoirists, and so much of this book's wisdom is between the lines and in the white spaces. It may only take you two days to read, but the impact will stay with you for a long, long time. Abigail Thomas fills memory with living breath."

– Stephen King

"This may be the most honest book I've ever read, by one of the most beautiful writers I know-- dizzyingly truthful, often funny, lyrical, wise."

– Anne Lamott

"I would follow Abigail Thomas on any journey she ever takes. The arrival of a new book from this master is always a cause for celebration, because I know right away that I'm about to learn something important about the art of writing and the art of living, both. I come to her books as though to a feast, and leave fulfilled and transformed."

– Elizabeth Gilbert

"This episodic memoir is full of love and life. Readers will identify with the feelings and the people even as they realize how different they are, how wondrous."

– Eloise Kinney, Booklist

“Bighearted…frank and funny andunpretentious…[Thomas’s] gratitude and amazement abound.”

– Catherine Newman, More

“A former book editor and memoirist's accountof the remarkable 35-year friendship that sustained her through the trials andtribulations of adult life…A moving andeloquent memoir.”

– Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“Irreverent, wise, and boundlessly generous."

– Elissa Schappell, Vanity Fair

"Infused with [Thomas’s] signature sense of mordancy and wit…. all about depth offeeling, the experience of being a mother and a friend…its disparate piecesfall into exquisite place."

– David Ulin, Los Angeles Times

“Full of love, humor, anger and a certain amount of uncertainty…. Although most of these passages are very short and read almost like journal entries, the overall picture Thomas conveys is that of the deep, soul-level relationships that exist between her and her family and with Chuck, connections that make all the highs and lows of life livable."

– Lee E. Cart, Shelf Awareness

“A keenly observed memoir…[Thomas] writes of the changes aging brings us all and of coping through love: of family, dogs, a well-turned phrase. She is superb company."

– People Magazine

"Beautifully written...wry...resilient. Her mature bones may not be all that flexible but her topics and sentences flip and cartwheel with the greatest of ease."

– Maureen Corrigan, Fresh Air

What Comes Next and How to Like It is the story ofhow Abigail Thomas manages to survive all the beauty and sadness life has givenher. If you only read one book this year, make it this one.”

– Ann Patchett

"I want to grow oldthe way Abigail Thomas is growing old — with grace and wit, humor and honesty,dogs and dear friends. What Comes Next and How to Like It is plain-spoken and wise. Thomas's chapters are brief (some just a paragraph, none longer than three pages), but they feel complete and full. She says what she means and no more. (But she says it beautifully.)”

– Laurie Hertzel, Minneapolis Star Tribune

"A nearly unforgivable betrayal in the middle of [a] long friendship somehow didn’t end it… and it’s this spirit of stalwart love and loyalty that makes Thomas’s work so moving... The result is a book that reads very quickly, but lingers long after."

– Kate Tuttle, Boston Globe

“Abigail Thomas knows adversity and how to make some kind of joy out of it… a meditation on aging and family that brings to mind Anne Lamott or Anna Quindlen… her gift is to never ponder too long on life’s woes."

– Nora Krug, The Washington Post

“Hilarious, wise, generous…full of interesting places and people and art and feeling and moment and thought."

– Dinah Lenney, Los Angeles Review of Books

“[Thomas] is in total control of the narrative even when she feels that she’s not—a string of tragedies pieced together with undeterred grace.…each scene feels fresh and alive.”

– Alex Layman, Kirkus Reviews

“Thomas has another winner with WHAT COMES NEXT AND HOW TO LIKE IT… a rich, multifaceted portrait of the author’s daily life in Woodstock, New York, with her beloved dogs. She is both forthright and self-deprecatingly funny … readers will treasure this journey with a writer who comes across as a compelling, lively friend."

– Alice Cary, Bookpage

“Beautiful… Thomas writes arrestingly about the trials and gifts of friendship What Comes Next and How to Like It is ultimately about how to live with the hand one is dealt: its disappointments and surprises, the grief and the grace... The result is a thing of beauty, largely owing to the author’s utter fearlessness in the face of the unexpected.”

– The Economist

“The astonishingly rhapsodic What Comes Next and How to Like It is this master stylist's best work yet…One of the many gifts of What Comes Next is the news Thomas brings us from the front lines of old age, peppery and witty, neither romanticized nor denied."

– Meredith Maran, Chicago Tribune

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