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Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire

Because the Undead Have Feelings Too!

Illustrated by Andrew Pinder



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About The Book

Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls.

When a beautiful new girl moves into the neighborhood, Nigel is determined to win her heart but first he's got to figure out how. In the meantime, he writes about her in his diary and composes really bad love poetry that he will recite to her one day, if he can work up the courage to tell her the truth. Can Nigel win the girl and the respect of his family--or is he destined to be a totally lame vampire forever?

About The Author

Tim Collins is the author of ten books and has contributed to many magazines and newspapers. Originally from Manchester, he now lives in London.

About The Illustrator

Product Details

  • Publisher: Aladdin (August 24, 2010)
  • Length: 336 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781442411838
  • Grades: 5 - 9
  • Ages: 10 - 14
  • Lexile ® 1030L The Lexile reading levels have been certified by the Lexile developer, MetaMetrics®

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Raves and Reviews

"This book has a witty, laugh-out-loud story line and cartoon illustrations that are liberally sprinkled throughout. Readers will sympathize with Nigel and his teen angst, and the great ending makes this a satisfying and entertaining read."–Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY

- SLJ, December 2010

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More books from this author: Tim Collins

More books from this illustrator: Andrew Pinder