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Fangs a Lot

Final Notes from a Totally Lame Vampire

Illustrated by Andrew Pinder

About The Book

Nigel Mullet (vampire, diarist, not-so-heroic hero) puts his leadership—and romantic—skills to the test in this fun, funny, and not-at-all-lame conclusion to the Totally Lame Vampire series.

Nigel Mullet finds himself in charge of a vampire coven on a remote Scottish island. As if trying to finish his vampire history homework and impress a vamp girl called Lenora wasn’t enough, Nigel has to spend his time resolving petty disputes.

When a new vampire named Viktor joins the coven, Nigel is happy to let him take over. But this newcomer soon proves himself to be a brutal and merciless leader. The hapless Nigel is cajoled into becoming the head of the resistance movement, but will he triumph over his enemy? And perhaps more importantly…will he get the girl?


Went to school, did my homework, drank some blood. Another typical day at our coven.

Mr. Dashwood gave us a history lesson this morning. It was really boring, just an endless list of famous vampires, the dates they transformed, and the ways they were destroyed.

I can still hear him droning on. “Staked, beheaded, fried. Staked, beheaded, survived . . .”

There was no reason for the lesson to be so dull. We’ve got such an amazing array of vampires in our class, we could learn more about history just by chatting.

Seth was transformed over three thousand years ago in Egypt, Lenora was transformed over 150 years ago, and I’ve been a vampire since the early twentieth century. Imagine all the experiences we’d be able to share.

Instead, dull old Dashwood forces us to face the front and copy down his notes. If you so much as speak, he calls you up to the front and holy waters you. He’s so old-fashioned.

About The Author

Tim Collins is the author of ten books and has contributed to many magazines and newspapers. Originally from Manchester, he now lives in London.

About The Illustrator

Product Details

  • Publisher: Aladdin (August 26, 2014)
  • Length: 320 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781481421348
  • Grades: 5 - 9
  • Ages: 10 - 14
  • Lexile ® 820L The Lexile reading levels have been certified by the Lexile developer, MetaMetrics®

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More books from this author: Tim Collins

More books from this illustrator: Andrew Pinder