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Beet This

An Unofficial Schrute Farms Cookbook

Published by Ulysses Press
Distributed by Simon & Schuster



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About The Book

Settle in for a stay at Schrute Farms Bed & Breakfast with this hilarious unofficial cookbook featuring rustic, beet-heavy recipes that Mental Floss calls, "the perfect treat for any mega fans of The Office"

**2021 Foreword INDIES Award Finalist for Humor**

Ask Yourself, "What Wouldn't an Idiot Make for Dinner?" The answer is exactly what you will find in this cookbook. With Beet This, you can make your next meal in true Schrute-Farms style with recipes that are equal parts rustic and merciless. Straight from Honesdale (the Keystone State's culinary mecca) this cookbook is packed with old and hearty, Pennsylvania-inspired recipes that would earn Dwight’s perfectenschlag stamp of approval, including:
  • Beet Biscuits with Rabbit Gravy (a breakfast classic)
  • Beet and Cabbage Salad
  • Beet Fries
  • Russian Beet Soup
  • Whole Roasted Beets
  • Spicy Fried Rattlesnake with Pickled Beets
  • Moist Chocolate-Beet Cake
  • For a B&B nightcap, Home-Distilled Beet Vodka
  • and so much more. . .

Sharpen your Santoku, load your spud gun, and prepare to be transported to a magical, beet-filled corner of Northeast Pennsylvania. Or don't. And die of hunger. Idiot.

About The Authors

Tyanni Niles began her writing career at a young age when she would fill pages of a composition notebook with stories. She published a single copy of her first book, Cindy’s Report, in elementary school (it now sits on a shelf in her home). She enjoys writing short stories and flash fiction. In her spare time, she likes to make friendship bracelets and other crafts. Tyanni is a huge fan of The Office. If she could relate to any character from the show, it would most likely be Pam Beesly, although writing and crafting give off Toby and Phyllis vibes. She lives in Brooklyn, New York. You can find some of her writing pieces on Instagram @tyanniajeewrites and on her website at

Samuel “Fact” Kaplan is an author, psychologist, and humorist based out of Oakland, California. As a psychologist, he works with families and kids with disabilities, using humor, art, music, and games to create connections and help kids heal from complex traumas. He is the coauthor of the books Goodnight Dorm Room, Everybody Poops 410 Pounds a Year, and The MANual. Samuel is very fast. His speed is comparable to that of a shark crossed with a baby tuna that is also being chased by the aforementioned shark. 

Keith Riegert is an author and the publisher at Ulysses Press. He is also a cofounder of the book publicity and digital marketing firm Pacific & Court and teaches Analytics and Consumer Insights at NYU’s School of Professional Studies in the Center for Publishing.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Ulysses Press (July 27, 2021)
  • Length: 144 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781646041886

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Raves and Reviews

"Beet This is the perfect treat for any mega fans of The Office. In this guide, you'll learn how to make everything from simple roasted beets to more complicated fare like spicy fried rattlesnake with pickled beets and beet biscuits with rabbit gravy. You'll even get instructions for distilling your very own beet vodka."

– Mental Floss

". . . for Dwight Schrute fans, this latest addition to the show's culinary library will be hard to beet."

– Robert Peterpaul,

". . . if you don’t consider yourself an idiot, you can’t 'beet this' cookbook."

– Jason Fraley, WTOP News

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