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Tongue Tied

Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships

Published by Cleis Press
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

About The Book

You can't get what you unless you ask for it!

"My favorite thing when I'm working with clients is when their eyes go wide with the 'ah-ha' moment that they really can have the sex life of their dreams. It's my hope that with this book, you can as well."--Stella Harris

Sex is still a touchy subject despite recent sex-positive advances. We live in a culture that vilifies people who are sexually adventurous and frames our kinks as shame-inducing perversions. Many people have never been able to talk openly about sex with their partner(s). But, you can get what you want out of the bedroom--if you ask for it. Why should anyone settle for mediocre sex?!

Whether addressing sexual frustration with your partner, trying out new fantasies, or negotiating the terms of a BDSM scene, Stella Harris believes that communication skills are vital to sexual fulfillment. Tongue Tied gives readers straightforward advice on how to conquer their fears, identify their needs, and feel positively empowered. Harris charmingly takes readers through all aspects of communication, from basic interpersonal skills to negotiation advice for expert-level kink play. Learn how to have fun, embrace silly moments, support your loved ones, and take personal responsibility for your desires.

An incredible guide full of exercises, tools, and personal examples, Tongue Tied is a must-read for people of every experience level and relationship status.

About The Author

Stella Harris is a Certified Intimacy Educator and Sex Coach, who uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella teaches at venues and conferences across the US (and Canada!) while maintaining a private practice in her adopted hometown of Portland, Oregon. Stella’s first book, Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships was published by Cleis Press in September 2018. Learn more at or follow @stellaharriserotica on Instagram.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Cleis Press (September 11, 2018)
  • Length: 306 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781627782661

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Raves and Reviews

This is an amazing book for anyone who struggles to communicate with their partner or partners about sex both in and outside of the bedroom. It is full of amazing practical tricks to get you talking confidently and overcoming shame.

– Julia Kotziamani, sex and relationship coach and educator

This detailed, user-friendly, and conscientious book deals with nearly every imaginable aspect of intimate human relationships, covering everything from analingus to apologies.

– Bradley Buchanan, Tulsa Book Review

Communication is complicated, but Harris gives us an essential roadmap to make it easier to have the kinds of relationships we truly want.

– Rachel Kramer Bussel, editor, Best Women's Erotica of the Year series

No matter your relationship style or kink level, Harris’ practical wisdom will completely transform how you relate to others. This book is required reading for healthy relationships!

– Sunny Megatron, sexuality & kink educator, host of American Sex Podcast

In a perfect world, Tongue Tied would be required reading as part of every Sex Ed curriculum.

– Mistress Holly

Stella Harris tackles common and complex sex and relational issues with honesty and ease. Tongue Tied provides the reader with easy and straightforward language that is needed to build a more complete sexual self, no matter who you are.

– Elle Stanger, podcast host of StrangeBedfellows

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More books from this author: Stella Harris