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Three Dads and a Baby

Adventures in Modern Parenting

As a closeted teen, Ian wondered if he would ever fall in love or be able to live openly with a male partner. Years later, he had not one but two partners in a polyamorous Throuple, and the support of family, friends, and coworkers. But something was still missing. Spurred by a friend’s donation of two embryos, Ian and his partners embarked on a sometimes hilarious, sometimes tearful quest to become parents. Along the way, they faced IVF failures, the threat of Zika virus, a battle at their clinic that forced them into an urgent hunt for a new doctor, pregnancy-threatening bleeds, costly legal battles and a reluctant superior court judge. Ultimately the grace of women—embryo donors, their egg donor, their surrogate, even a surprise milk donor—allowed them to complete their family with one perfect girl. And in fighting for their family, they set a legal precedent, and became the first polyamorous family ever named as the legal parents of a child.