From Chapter 8: Meditations
Oh, how I resisted tantric meditation! I wanted only to drown in physical ecstasy. Tantric lovemaking can be very distracting because it feels so good. It took me years to develop a consistency in my meditations.
Tantric meditation is the means of attaining tantra's final requisite: a consistent intention of love. In tantric meditation, we listen to God. We open our minds. We tap into the collective creative source, going beyond our limiting thoughts, and hear God. God's sweet symphony can always be heard, but we must open our untrained ears to the right chords.
In tantric meditation we focus on the physical, emotional, and spiritual simultaneously. Our focus is both active and passive. Each part of the tantric act is predisposed toward certain meditation techniques. There are a few books that describe tantric meditation in great detail. Most of the meditations I use, however, came to me without any instruction. My tantric teacher did not sit me down and say, "Do this, do that" while we practiced tantra. I learned the basics about breathing, ritual, energy flow and intention beforehand, and then we got together and practiced. Ours was more of a silent teaching while we practiced tantra. Isn't that the way it should be? Who wants to practice tantric lovemaking while getting a bunch of instructions!
Constant words of instruction were also not necessary between us because he did not need to teach me his technique. He was not trying to make me into a great male tantric who could raise a woman's energy levels. He was doing practices that were helping me to embody my own enlightenment, so that I would become a receptive female tantrika. There were many times when, after we were finished, I would ask him, "How on earth did you do that?"
He would jokingly respond, "Well if I tell you I'll give away my secrets." The truth was, I did not need to know his technique because if I were to spend all my time analyzing how he was doing things, I would have the tendency to analyze the tantra rather than simply be in the moment and enjoy the process. There are experiences of tantra that do not need to be put into words.
Generally, the flow of a single tantric meditation will go as follows:
1. Physical - Total concentration on the physical pleasure in the moment.
2. Emotional - Immersion in loving thoughts and worship toward our partner's divinity.
3. Spiritual - Feeling ourselves and our partner as a single unit that is connected to spirit, or God.
After we have shared our ritual preparation, my partner and I slip into bed and hold each other, breathing together. We gently kiss and caress each other's bodies. My partner kisses my lips, neck, arms, nipples, stomach, and thighs. Sometimes my feet, backs of my knees, calves, back, buttocks, shoulders.
My partner is a master of energy control. As he pleasures me with oral stimulation, he is bringing energy up from his root chakra, up through his spine, and out from his heart, through his tongue and hands. I feel an electricity coming out of him and into me.
I meditate upon the sexual energy within my body and between us. In my mind I am feeling, seeing and sensing only the experience of this sexual foreplay. I concentrate upon his tongue and the skin directly underneath, each stroke feeling uniquely magnificent to the skin being caressed. I delve into the details of my skin - how each inch, fold, and cell engorges with pleasure. I feel the shape and texture of his tongue, the pressure as it moves, the rate at which it slowly and steadily explores me. A thin layer of soft moisture lies between my skin and his tongue. Through my yoni I feel the beating of his heart pounding through his tongue. Each portion of my yoni's delicate skin begins to swell and expand, opening and warming.
Up inside my yoni, my walls are moistening and enlarging, and my cherished g-spot is beginning to grow. I can almost hear it calling for attention, asking for touch, reaching outward, seeking pleasure. He licks me from my knees, up my inner thighs, onto every piece of my yoni, not forgetting a spot. Each area he pleasures swells, and with this size grows an intoxicating ecstasy within my body. I now visualize the size of my yoni and the size of his tongue growing very large. My outer labia swells, my inner lips open, my clitoris turns a hard, ruby red. Now in my mind, larger and larger I grow my yoni and his tongue, so that I begin to meditate upon more and more specific details of both of us. The more details I see, the more places that pleasure sinks its way into me.
I visualize my sexuality as three times its natural size, in vivid detail. The individual nerves on my skin pulsate in ecstasy. With every touch of his tongue the cells of my yoni expand and engorge.
When my partner brings me to first orgasm, after perhaps one hour, orgasmic waves overwhelm my body. Each area of my yoni - the lips, the inner walls, my clit - is having its own unique rhythmic rippling of pleasure, a subset that is convulsing in perfect harmony with the waves of orgasm singing through my whole body, from head to toe!