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Table of Contents
About The Book
From grief quests to altar-making, to dinner parties to Dungeons & Dragons, Renegade Grief is an “offering to the struggle and art of being human” (Krista Tippett, New York Times bestselling author) and a profound, vulnerable exploration of care practices and rituals that empower grievers in a culture that expects us to simply “give it time.”
So, you’ve lost someone. At first, there is an outpour of support and phone calls and care packages. But after the services are done and the phone stops ringing, there is a quiet in the air and an expectation to get on with your life. The problem is that death has a way of making all plans go out the window. Renegade Grief offers the support in this next stage of grieving—when you feel isolated in your loss and are figuring out how to navigate it.
Shaped by her own experience with the death of her father and her time cofounding The Dinner Party, a leading peer-support organization for people who’ve experienced a major loss, Carla Fernandez pushes back on the death-denying culture we live in. For too long, grief has been treated as something pitiable, simply sad, to be gotten over as soon as possible. But after fifteen years of being in a community with fellow grievers, Carla has witnessed a different side of the story. Grieving a significant loss is hardcore, hardly something to be swept under the rug, but an experience to be held with respect, a creative spirit, and with friends. Through inspiring stories of real grievers, patterns from across history, and fresh science, Renegade Grief enlivens you with the permission and possibility to explore your grief in your own unique way and reminds you that you’re not alone in doing it.
Renegade Grief is an indispensable resource for people at any stage of the grieving process and with Carla’s candid and compassionate guidance, you learn that life after loss isn’t about the futile attempt of arriving at some other side. Rather, it’s about building your community, adjusting to change, and finding the way for your grief to become a pathway into your own version of a soulful life.
So, you’ve lost someone. At first, there is an outpour of support and phone calls and care packages. But after the services are done and the phone stops ringing, there is a quiet in the air and an expectation to get on with your life. The problem is that death has a way of making all plans go out the window. Renegade Grief offers the support in this next stage of grieving—when you feel isolated in your loss and are figuring out how to navigate it.
Shaped by her own experience with the death of her father and her time cofounding The Dinner Party, a leading peer-support organization for people who’ve experienced a major loss, Carla Fernandez pushes back on the death-denying culture we live in. For too long, grief has been treated as something pitiable, simply sad, to be gotten over as soon as possible. But after fifteen years of being in a community with fellow grievers, Carla has witnessed a different side of the story. Grieving a significant loss is hardcore, hardly something to be swept under the rug, but an experience to be held with respect, a creative spirit, and with friends. Through inspiring stories of real grievers, patterns from across history, and fresh science, Renegade Grief enlivens you with the permission and possibility to explore your grief in your own unique way and reminds you that you’re not alone in doing it.
Renegade Grief is an indispensable resource for people at any stage of the grieving process and with Carla’s candid and compassionate guidance, you learn that life after loss isn’t about the futile attempt of arriving at some other side. Rather, it’s about building your community, adjusting to change, and finding the way for your grief to become a pathway into your own version of a soulful life.
Reading Group Guide
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This reading group guide for Renegade Grief includes discussion questions, and ideas for enhancing your book club. The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book. For additional resources, visit https://www.carlafernandez.co/book-resources.
Topics and Questions for Discussion:
Renegade Grief in Your Own Words
1. What are the care practices or forms of peer support that have been most supportive to you in your loss?
2. Any care practices or forms of peer support that you thought would be supportive, but ended up being a flop? Explain why.
3. Have there been any parts of your grief experience that have required you to go renegade - to defy the status quo? Or ways that the cultural expectation around grief have left you feeling like there must be another way?
4. If you let yourself lean into the renegade spirit in your grief journey, what permission might that give you?
5. If you were to explain to a new member of the grief club what they needed to “get ready to ride”, what would you share with them, or what questions would you encourage them to ask themselves?
Supporting Each Other & Strengthening Community
1. How do you feel supported in your grief? Where do you still need support?
2.What does being a grief ally mean to you? How can you show up for others in their grief?
3.What cultural or familial grief traditions have shaped your understanding of loss?
4. What kind of ongoing check-in or ritual can this group do to support one another beyond this discussion?
5.How can we collectively create more space for grief in our communities and relationships?
Exploring the Book
1. Was there a chapter, story, or care practice that spoke to you deeply? Why?
2.Were there any parts of the book that didn't resonate with you or felt challenging?
3. Is there a grief care practice from the book that you'd like to try—or one you know you never will? Why?
4.How does Renegade Grief challenge or affirm the way you have been taught to grieve?
5.What emotions or memories surfaced for you while reading?
Topics and Questions for Discussion:
Renegade Grief in Your Own Words
1. What are the care practices or forms of peer support that have been most supportive to you in your loss?
2. Any care practices or forms of peer support that you thought would be supportive, but ended up being a flop? Explain why.
3. Have there been any parts of your grief experience that have required you to go renegade - to defy the status quo? Or ways that the cultural expectation around grief have left you feeling like there must be another way?
4. If you let yourself lean into the renegade spirit in your grief journey, what permission might that give you?
5. If you were to explain to a new member of the grief club what they needed to “get ready to ride”, what would you share with them, or what questions would you encourage them to ask themselves?
Supporting Each Other & Strengthening Community
1. How do you feel supported in your grief? Where do you still need support?
2.What does being a grief ally mean to you? How can you show up for others in their grief?
3.What cultural or familial grief traditions have shaped your understanding of loss?
4. What kind of ongoing check-in or ritual can this group do to support one another beyond this discussion?
5.How can we collectively create more space for grief in our communities and relationships?
Exploring the Book
1. Was there a chapter, story, or care practice that spoke to you deeply? Why?
2.Were there any parts of the book that didn't resonate with you or felt challenging?
3. Is there a grief care practice from the book that you'd like to try—or one you know you never will? Why?
4.How does Renegade Grief challenge or affirm the way you have been taught to grieve?
5.What emotions or memories surfaced for you while reading?
Product Details
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster (August 4, 2026)
- Length: 288 pages
- ISBN13: 9781668001820
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