Me, But Better

The Science and Promise of Personality Change

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About The Book

Is it really possible to change your entire personality in a year? An award-winning journalist experiments with her own personality to find out—and reveals the science behind lasting change.

Olga Khazan was spiraling toward an existential crisis. Though she treasured her loving relationship and dream job, her neurotic personality often left her snatching dissatisfaction from the jaws of happiness. Lately, her brittle disposition felt ready to shatter under the weight of just one more thing—but could she really change her entire personality?

Personality consists of five sliding-scale traits: extroversion (how sociable you are), conscientiousness (how self-disciplined you are), agreeableness (how empathetic you are), openness (how receptive you are to new things), and neuroticism (how anxious you are). Research shows you can alter these traits by acting like the kind of person you’d like to be. In Me, But Better, Olga embarks on a year-long experiment to see if it’s possible to start “radiating joy” instead of dwelling in dread—trying everything from Zip-Zap-Zopping toward extroversion in improv to surfing her way to openness, even if she spends more time wiping out than hanging ten.

Sharply witty and deeply fascinating, Me, But Better candidly explores what it means to live a fulfilling life, and how to keep growing, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

About The Author

Photograph by Tim Coburn

Olga Khazan is a staff writer for The Atlantic and the author, previously, of Weird. She is a two-time recipient of journalism fellowships from the International Reporting Project and the winner of the 2017 National Headliner Award for Magazine Online Writing. 

Product Details

  • Publisher: S&S/Simon Element (March 11, 2025)
  • Length: 288 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781668012567

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Raves and Reviews

“It is a testament to Khazan’s self-deprecating humor that [Me, But Better] is so entertaining… her message is hopeful and quietly radical.”Bloomberg

“One of the most important questions we ask ourselves is, 'How do I change, if I want to change—if change is even possible?' Olga Khazan tackles this challenge for herself with a determination that’s both comical and admirable. Hilarious, honest, and packed with cutting-edge research, this book got me turning the pages and making lists of things to try in my own life.”—Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of Life in Five Senses and The Four Tendencies  

“This book shatters the myth that personality is set in stone. Drawing on state-of-the-art evidence and rich personal experience, Olga Khazan artfully reveals what our traits really are—and how we can adapt them to achieve our goals.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and Hidden Potential, and host of the podcast Re:Thinking

"Me, But Better is a hugely readable, deeply researched and often hilarious investigation of the challenges involved in changing who we are. It is also an embodiment of its own ultimately uplifting message: reading it, I felt myself turning into someone more able to pursue more fulfilling ways to live."—Oliver Burkeman, bestselling author of Four Thousand Weeks

"With journalistic rigor and come-sit-by-me warmth, Olga Khazan once again brilliantly weaves science and her own intrepid research to deliver actionable takeaways. Me, But Better, is a gift to anyone who's ever felt they could use more grace, perspective, or good cheer. Anyone who thinks they don't need this kind of advice probably needs it more."—Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can't Sleep

Me, But Better is everything you want in a nonfiction book. It's funny, intelligent, thought-provoking, and mind-changing.”—Derek Thompson, The Atlantic staff writer

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