Losing My Mind

An Intimate Look at Life with Alzheimer's

About The Book

When Tom DeBaggio turned fifty-seven in 1999, he thought he was about to embark on the relaxing golden years of retirement -- time to spend with his family, his friends, the herb garden he had spent decades cultivating and from which he made a living. Then, one winter day, he mentioned to his doctor during a routine exam that he had been stumbling into forgetfulness, making his work difficult. After that fateful visit, and a subsequent battery of tests over several months, DeBaggio joined the legion of twelve million others afflicted with Alzheimer's disease. But under such a curse, DeBaggio was also given one of the greatest gifts: the ability to chart the ups and downs of his own failing mind.
Losing My Mind is an extraordinary first-person account of early onset Alzheimer's -- the form of the disease that ravages younger, more alert minds. DeBaggio started writing on the first day of his diagnosis and has continued despite his slipping grasp on one of life's greatest treasures, memory.
In an inspiring and detailed account, DeBaggio paints a vivid picture of the splendor of memory and the pain that comes from its loss. Whether describing the happy days of a youth spent in a much more innocent time or evaluating how his disease has affected those around him, DeBaggio poignantly depicts one of the most important parts of our lives -- remembrance -- and how we often take it for granted. But to DeBaggio, memory is more than just an account of a time long past, it is one's ability to function, to think, and ultimately, to survive. As his life becomes reduced to moments of clarity, the true power of thought and his ability to connect to the world shine through, and in DeBaggio's case, it is as much in the lack of functioning as it is in the ability to function that one finds love, hope and the relaxing golden years of peace.
At once an autobiography, a medical history and a testament to the beauty of memory, Losing My Mind is more than just a story of Alzheimer's, it is the captivating tale of one man's battle to stay connected with the world and his own life.

Reading Group Guide

DISCUSSION GUIDE
Thomas DeBaggio, Losing My Mind
Synopsis
In Losing My Mind: An Intimate Look at Life with Alzheimer's, Thomas DeBaggio records in heartbreaking detail an experience that few have recounted and no one hopes to share: the onset of Alzheimer's disease. Diagnosed one beautiful spring day at the age of 57, longtime journalist DeBaggio initially viewed the condition as a death sentence, but also knew he had a story he ought to tell. While keeping up with his family-run herb and plant business, he began work on his new project immediately, writing in his journal to capture the personal angle and researching the latest scientific information on a still poorly understood disease. This book is the devastating result.
Discussion Questions
1. As he says in the Author's Note, DeBaggio weaves three distinct threads into this narrative. One records his memories from early childhood onward, another relates the present-day frustrations of the disease, and the last collects bits and pieces of the latest Alzheimer's research. Rather than treating these subjects in three separate sections, he alternates between them rapidly, creating a complex texture. What is the effect of this technique? Did you notice any interesting juxtapositions?
2. One of the most poignant aspects of the book is the use of short italicized quotations from DeBaggio's journal -- dispatches from his most personal thoughts. One reads simply, "This may be my last chance to dream." [p. 7] Why are these remarks so moving? Do they ever remind you of your own privately held feelings?
3. The author writes, "depressed patients often complain that they're unable to concentrate or remember things, while those with dementia are generally unaware of any mental problems." And yet, DeBaggio himself seems painfully aware of his own ever-increasing lapses, at least initially. Does this change over the course of the narrative? Do you think his experience of the disease is uniquely self-conscious and insightful?
4. Sometimes DeBaggio quotes directly from his doctors' notes, which are often chillingly clinical. An early excerpt reads, "Mild dementia versus age-related memory loss plus anxiety. Supect the former, rule out the latter. Rule out treatable cause." [p. 23] Do these quotations square with other medical experiences we all may have had?
5. "For me now, any question of identity becomes profound and difficult. Without memory you lose the idea of who you are." [p. 42] These two sentences succinctly capture what is so terrifying about Alzheimer's; if you could not remember your first kiss or your last address or your wife's name, would you still be you? Does DeBaggio's personality seem to change or even dissolve over the course of these 200 pages?
6. Losing My Mind has passages that are repeated at times, particularly in the second half. Do you think this is intentional? Note, for example, the repetition of the experience of lying in bed watching a light show of yellow images, or the memory of finishing reading The Catcher in the Rye and going out in search of "phonies." What is the effect of these echoes in the text?
7. Growing herbs and plants in his backyard, DeBaggio's life is bound with nature, and attentive to its dramas. Does an understanding of natural processes influence the author's writing style? Does it influence his experience of Alzheimer's?
8. DeBaggio cites a 1999 study estimating that "nearly half of all people age 85 and over have symptoms of AD" [p. 13], a truly shocking finding. Do you think this book will be valuable to the generation that is now growing into old age? Is it valuable to those who will never have Alzheimer's?

About The Author

Thomas DeBaggio (1942-2011) was an American author, herb grower, and advocate for research into Alzheimer's disease. DeBaggio was once called the best “Rosemaryologist in America” and his company, DeBaggio Herbs, was one of the most respected herb farms and nurseries in the Washington, DC, area. His book Growing Herbs from Seed, Cutting, and Root was the 1995 recipient of the Benjamin Franklin Award for best garden book of 1995 for excellence in editorial content and design.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Free Press (April 5, 2002)
  • Length: 224 pages
  • ISBN13: 9780743216722

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Raves and Reviews

David Shenk author of The Forgetting Terrifying, invigorating, and life-affirming. We owe Tom DeBaggio a debt for his tireless curiosity.

Teresa Weaver The Atlanta Journal-Constitution A brave, disturbing, immensely personal story...the insights are so pure, so startling, it's a remarkable offering.

Chicago Tribune Poetic and funny, painful and poignant....Losing My Mind is a haunting, enlightening work.

Robert Lee Hotz Los Angeles Times DeBaggio vividly articulates the profound shock and despair of one person in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. It is a story made all the more compelling because that person is himself.

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