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About The Book

“[An] absorbing novel that will appeal to fans of Rainbow Rowell.” —Booklist
“A poignant and carefully crafted story.” —School Library Journal
“A gorgeous, sad, funny, and wise book about letting go and finding your place in the world.” —Kathleen Glasgow, New York Times bestselling author of Girl in Pieces

Parker struggles to reconnect with her twin brother, Charlie—who’s recovering from cancer—as she tries to deal with her anxiety about the future in this powerful new novel.

Twins Parker and Charlie are polar opposites.
Where Charlie is fearless, Parker is careful.
Charlie is confident while Parker aims to please.
Charlie is outgoing and outspoken; Parker is introverted and reserved.
And of course, there’s the one other major difference: Charlie got cancer. Parker didn’t.

But now that Charlie is officially in remission, life couldn’t be going better for Parker. She’s landed a prestigious summer internship at the hospital and is headed to Harvard in the fall to study pediatric oncology—which is why the anxiety she’s felt since her Harvard acceptance is so unsettling. And it doesn’t help that her relationship with Charlie has been on the rocks since his diagnosis.

Enter Finn, a boy who’s been leaving strange graffiti messages all over town. Parker can’t stop thinking about those messages, or about Finn, who makes her feel free for the first time: free to doubt, free to make mistakes, and free to confront the truth that Parker has been hiding from for a long time.

That she keeps trying to save Charlie, when the person who really needs saving is herself.

About The Author

Photograph by Meg Leder

A former bookseller and teacher, Meg Leder currently works as a book editor in New York City. Her role models are Harriet the Spy and Anne Shirley. She is the author of Letting Go of GravityThe Museum of Heartbreak, the coauthor of The Happy Book, and spends her free time reading, looking for street art, and people watching. She lives in Brooklyn, New York. You can visit her website at or find her on Twitter @MegLeder.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers (July 17, 2018)
  • Length: 432 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781534403185
  • Grades: 7 and up
  • Ages: 12 - 99

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Raves and Reviews

"A gorgeous, sad, funny, and wise book about letting go and finding your place in the world. Meg Leder has written a story about a brother and sister that will break your heart and have you whispering 'I got you' long after you've closed the book."

– Kathleen Glasgow, New York Times bestselling author of Girl in Pieces

"These lifelike characters are perfectly imperfect in the face of their own challenges....For readers who love and appreciate a good coming-of-age story, a realistic romance, and a novel where every character gets to be a hero."

– Kirkus, 5/1/18

"The anticipation and slow burn of Parker and Finn’s relationship is electric. Leder gracefully emphasizes self-reflection, self-care, and the reality of exploring other options after high school. Honest dialogue and vividly rendered characters are the real stars of this absorbing novel that will appeal to fans of Rainbow Rowell."

– Booklist

"A poignant and carefully crafted story about growing up with the added complication of cancer. Even when in remission, cancer wrecks havoc on Charlie and his family and friends. A compelling coming-of-age novel sure to appeal to those who love realistic fiction."

– School Library Journal, May 1, 2018

Awards and Honors

  • Bank Street Best Children's Book of the Year Selection Title

Resources and Downloads

High Resolution Images

More books from this author: Meg Leder