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Bow Down

Lessons from Dominatrixes on How to Get Everything You Want

*One of Glamour’s Best Books of 2020*

Popular podcast host and personal finance expert Lindsay Goldwert explores what professional dominatrixes can teach us about confidence, power, and happiness.

Imagine, for a moment, a world where the usual power dynamic is turned on its head. Where women not only stop apologizing, but seize—and enjoy—control. This is the quickly mainstreaming world of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism)—and it has a lot to teach women about empowerment, negotiation, open-mindedness, and more. Journalist Lindsay Goldwert, intrigued by this seismic cultural shift, traveled across the United States to meet the stars of the subculture, who spoke frankly with her about their lives and work.

In this “lively, funny, thoughtful channeling of wisdom” (Sara Benincasa, author of Real Artists Have Day Jobs), these Alpha women show you how you can reset the power dynamic in any situation to get what you want—whether it’s from a husband, a boss, or partner. They share strategies for revolutionizing not only your sex life, but your career, your relationships, and most importantly, your inner foundations.

With bondage gear popping up on the big screen, the runway, the red carpet, and in celebrity lingerie lines, BDSM is officially moving out of the dungeon and into the sun. Let Bow Down help you learn how to use it. “Whether your fantasies lie in the bedroom or the boardroom, Lindsay will give you the courage to go forth and dominate.” (Sarah Cooper, author of How to Be Successful without Hurting Men’s Feelings).

Photograph by Mindy Tucker

Lindsay Goldwert is the editor in chief of the online love and money magazine Money Date. She’s a journalist and the host of Spent, a money-themed storytelling podcast praised as “unique” by The A.V. Club and “funny and human” by The Globe and Mail (Toronto). She is the former editorial director of the personal-finance app Stash and hosted the Teach Me How to Money podcast. Her writing has appeared in New York magazine, The New York Daily News, ABCNews.com, Quartz, Refinery29Fast CompanyRedbookSlate, and many other publications. She lives in Queens, New York.

"Lindsay Goldwert goes where many of us haven't gone before! After reading her lively, funny, thoughtful channeling of wisdom from BDSM workers across the nation, your life will be a little less vanilla. Gentle reader, prepare for armchair travel at its naughtiest and most illuminating. And get ready to have a hell of a lot of fun."

—Sara Benincasa, author of Agorafabulous! Dispatches from My Bedroom and Real Artists Have Day Jobs

"If you're like me and consider yourself a total prude, this book will make you realize how much you've been missing. Whether your fantasies lie in the bedroom or the boardroom, Lindsay will give you the courage to go forth and dominate."

—Sarah Cooper, author of How to Be Successful without Hurting Men's Feelings