When a relationship trespasses the boundaries of trust, the consequences are complex in this nuanced page-turner from “a formidable talent” (Booklist).
If Coley Sterling’s best friend would stop hating her, if her dance-team captains would lighten up, if her friends would stop asking her about Reece, the geeky sax player she’s crushing on—then her life would be perfect. Right? After all, Coley’s stepdad is a successful attorney who gives Coley and her siblings everything, and her mother will stop at nothing to keep them all happy and safe—including having escaped ten years ago from the abuse of Coley’s real father. But Coley is keeping a lot of secrets. She won’t admit—not even to herself—that her almost-perfect life is her own carefully crafted façade. Now, Coley and Reece are getting closer, and a decade’s worth of Coley’s lies are on the verge of unraveling—along with the life she thought she knew.
Live Through This CHAPTER 1 I’m on my bed, under the covers, and my boyfriend is kissing my neck. He lifts my shirt, lowers his face. My heart is beating, beating, beating. I want him to do more, go further. I don’t tell him—I don’t say anything at all—but he figures it out and slides his hand way down. My whole body is on fire in the best possible way. Especially there. Right there. I tug on his boxers and he sighs.
I start awake.
A hint of cologne. Soft breathing. Darkness. It’s real. This is all happening. But not with the imaginary boyfriend from my dream.
My hands, my arms, my frame go limp. His fingers keep doing what they’re doing. Soon this will be over. I keep my eyes shut and hold my breath while the wave builds and builds and builds and builds and then—the wonderful, terrible crash.
It doesn’t matter that I tried not to tense up; he knows. Somehow, he’s always been able to tell. Gently, he kisses my cheek. Then he stands, straightens my blankets, and closes the door behind him.
I press my pillow onto my face and wish that it were possible to suffocate myself.