Skip to Main Content

Life in Limbo

My battle with depression, infertility and mental illness.

This memoir, based on diary entries, is a frank, moving and at times humorous account of Matt Barwick’s struggle with infertility, and diagnosis with bipolar disorder triggered by family suicide. At twenty-nine, still childless after a year of trying, Matt and his wife Ali realised that starting a family was not going to be the ‘cinch’ it appeared to be for most of their friends. The couple start a crash course in conception from a straight-talking fertility guruand the journey towards more serious medical intervention begins. Already feeling the strain of infertility and the recurring cycle of disappointment, Matt’s world comes crashing down when he loses his only brother to suicide, resulting from depression that was largely hidden from the world.

Matt Barwick was born and raised in Canberra and has worked for over a decade for the Australian government. He was motivated to share his unique story when he realised how few titles, from young, average Australian males, were available to help and inform those dealing with infertility, family suicide and mental illness diagnosis. Having lived through these experiences and written about them in his daily diary when his life started becoming memorable for all the wrong reasons, he shares his story from an emotive, less clinical, sufferer’s perspective. Throughout his remarkable journey, he has constantly looked for positives and focused on what makes him most happy: music, surfing and the unconditional support and love of his wife and soul-mate, Ali.