Five Reasons Good People Can’t Find Good Partners
5. You’re too nice: Again, you’d think being too mean would be more of a problem, but it’s worse if you always feel responsible for whatever goes wrong on a date, or for making sure everyone’s having fun, or for the weather or the universe in general. Then the bad dates, storms, and luck wear you down until you just want to be left alone to screw up in peace.
4. You’re a woman: That’s right—from haircuts to health care, being a woman is expensive, but your gender is also costing you a decent chance at finding a partner. That’s because there are more marriage-qualified women than marriage-qualified men—a little-known clinical fact, but an obvious fact to any woman who’s had multiple blind dates show up to a nice dinner in flip-flops—so lots of good women are left without a chair to sit on when the proverbial music stops.
3. You connect too easily or hang on too long: You’d think that being a gifted bonder would help if you’re looking for lasting love, but not if you attach too easily to people you don’t know well or hang on too long to partners who are obvious wastes of time. So you spend too much time talking to, caring for, and dating people who may be nice but aren’t your cup of tea. Then, after the breakup, you’re not just heartbroken, but are too exhausted and burned-out to get out there and search for someone worthwhile.
2. You’re an oddball: Sure, it’s easier for not-normal people to find each other now that the Internet exists and Comic Con has
worldwide prestige, but anyone whose nerd-dom goes deeper than a pair of glasses and a Star Wars T-shirt can tell you that it’s never easy for an oddball living in a normal world. Even if you’re living among your kind in an artsy city such as Portland or Austin, you’re still probably better at collecting small metal figurines than making small talk. Or maybe you’re just a lady or dude of average tastes who lives in a different country, or just around a different culture, where you feel totally out of place and unable to connect with anyone, let alone someone you want to connect with in the biblical sense.
1. You’re unlucky: On the one hand, bad luck invites more bad luck, so not only do people treat you as if you were contagious and deserving of quarantine, but you’re too down to prove them wrong. When you’re already depressed, broke, or ten pounds over fighting weight, it’s nearly impossible to chitchat, laugh at jokes, or even look strangers in the eye, so meeting new people isn’t just a struggle, it’s torture. On the other hand, you can be going about your search with a positive attitude and a careful approach, and even then, your luck may be garbage and your dates total duds. Bad luck can strike any of us, no matter who we are or what we’re like, but don’t take it personally or let it push you into settling for an equally bad someone.