Author Revealed

About Jeff Somers

Q. Previous occupations

A. Chicken wing delivery boy, production editor in med/sci publishing, layabout and blackguard

Q. Favorite job

A. There is no such thing. That's why they call it a job.

Q. Name of your favorite composer or music artist?

A. Too Much Joy. The best band you've never heard of.

Q. Favorite movie

A. Miller's Crossing

Q. Favorite television show

A. The Wire

Revealing Questions

Q. How would you describe your life in only 8 words?

A. Cats, liquor, laziness, spiced with fiction and anarchy.

Q. What is your motto or maxim?

A. Demum, veniunt porci.

Q. How would you describe perfect happiness?

A. A warm Spring evening, a bottle of Glenmorangie, cats lounging on the deck, a latpop on my knees, my wife The Duchess laughing at something that happened on television.

Q. What’s your greatest fear?

A. Being trapped under something heavy and consumed by my adoring cats.

Q. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?

A. Right here. I am always where I want to be. Otherwise, I stand up and walk somewhere else. What am I, nuts?

Q. With whom in history do you most identify?

A. Roman Emperors, Kings, that sort of thing.

Q. What are your most overused words or phrases?

A. "You Guys!" and "YOLO" are the mark of the avoided.

Q. What do you regret most?

A. Not investing in Apple in 1996.

Q. If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?

A. The ability to remake reality with my thoughts. Duh.

Q. What is your greatest achievement?

A. Learning how to play Led Zeppelin's "Rock N' Roll" on guitar.

Q. What’s your greatest flaw?

A. Is this a job interview? I dunno. I care too much. I'm a perfectionist. The usual stuff people say in job interviews because saying I AM PERFECT AND I LOVE MYSELF is somehow frowned upon.

Q. What’s your best quality?

A. My awe inspiring humility. Also, my ability to drink liquor until everyone around me is dead from alcohol poisoning.

Q. What trait is most noticeable about you?

A. Is overall handsomeness a trait? No? Then possibly my thinning hair and pot belly.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional hero?

A. Flashman.

Q. Who is your favorite fictional villain?

A. Flashman.

Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. Ridiculous questions apparently based on speed dating templates.

Q. What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?

A. Playing guitar quite terribly.

Q. What’s your fantasy profession?

A. Novelist Rock Star. I'd sing my novels and people would love it.

Q. What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?

A. ability to drink like a sailor, profanity creativity, complete ambivalence about religion and politics.

Q. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?

A. whiskey.

Q. What are your 5 favorite songs?

A. "Back in Black", AC/DC; "Susquehana Hat Factory", Too Much Joy; "Thirteen", Big Star; "Bring the Noise", Public Enemy; "Pharaoh's Dance", Miles Davis

On Books and Writing

Q. Who are your favorite authors?

A. Elmore Leonard Raymond Chandler Dashiell Hammett Jim Thompson Jack L. Chalker Chuck Palahniuk JRR Tolkien C.S. Lewis

Q. What are your 5 favorite books of all time?

A. This changes so often it's hard to pin down. The Big Sleep, The Killer Inside Me, Infinite Jest, To Kill a Mockingbird have all been on the list at some point.

Q. Do you have one sentence of advice for new writers?

A. Don't plan too much - leave room for sudden inspiration and left turns.

Q. What comment do you hear most often from your readers?

A. Who are you and why are you hiding in my closet.