Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year Excerpt

 

Before you choose a gift, ask yourself:

1. Is it mindful?

2. Is it meaningful?

3. Is it memorable?

 

A mindful gift shows you have been paying attention. For example, we were grateful when our friends and family respected our request not to give plastic presents to our children.

 

My friend Mandy, who lost her beloved mother a few years ago, received a particularly thoughtful gift from her mum’s best friend last Christmas:

 

Before you buy any gift, ask yourself the following questions:

Is it mindful of what they have experienced this year?

Is it appropriate given the current context of their life?

Is it appropriate given their view of the environment and the world?

Is it appropriate given their thoughts about parenting?

Is it in line with their attitude to gifts in general?

Is it in line with what you can afford?

Is it in line with what they can afford to give in return (so you don’t skew the social gifting contract)?

 

There’s no need to answer “yes” to every one of these questions, but if the majority of your answers are “no,” it’s probably worth thinking again.

 

Meaningful gifts have an extra layer of value. For example, my younger brother handcrafted the mantelpiece for our home, and my dad promised to plant hanging baskets that would give us blooming flowers all summer long.

 

The following questions can help you choose a truly meaningful gift:

Is it linked to something they care about, rather than something you care about?

Does it strengthen the bond between the two of you?

Does it recognize their gifts and talents… and encourage them?

Does it represent some aspect of your relationship?

Does it enhance their life in some way?

Does it offer shared time with someone they care about?

Is it obviously personal to them?

 

Finally, will the recipient remember your gift? Will it live on in their mind and heart long into the future? For example, my older brother once sponsored a chair in my favorite café where I would often go to work. He had a brass plaque with a humorous, personal message screwed into the back of it. I didn’t own the chair or take it home with me, but I thought about my brother every time I sat in it, and his donation supported a small business I cared about.