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What Are Our Favorite Schitt’s Creek Characters Reading?

by  | September 6

I’ve been slightly obsessed with Schitt’s Creek ever since one of my best friends made me watch the show one sleepy Sunday. It’s by far the most enjoyable half hour of television I’ve seen in a while (as in, since Parks and Rec, but that discussion is for another day). And since I work in publishing, my mind naturally connects everything I’m doing to books, so I’ve found myself thinking very seriously—probably too seriously—about what everyone in Schitt’s Creek is currently reading. Here’s what I’ve determined…

My Friend Anna

My Friend Anna

by Rachel DeLoache Williams

Alexis

Alexis was in the circle of society that floats around Le Bain and the other wealthy hot spots of New York, so she definitely would have run into Anna Delvey at parties, and would read this feeling completely horrified to know that it could have been her. She could have been duped! I can just hear her saying, “Omigod, David,” as she reads how Delvey lived the life Alexis once knew—of personal trainers, five-star hotels, and rooftop bars—and how she scammed her friend out of $62,000.

via GIPHY

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Principles

Principles

by Ray Dalio

Johnny

Johnny’s all about the business. After the collapse of his movie rental empire, Johnny is taking all the advice he can get, and Ray Dalio, as one of the most successful investors and entrepreneurs out there, is the person to turn to when you’re trying to lead a successful life. He shares all the lessons he’s learned over the course of his career—and how those lessons apply to all parts of life. Johnny would be picking this savvy book up and trying to put “radical truth” to use in every aspect of running the motel.

via GIPHY

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Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey

by E L James

Jocelyn

Friendly, people-pleasing Jocelyn has a wild streak. She likes being the object of her students’ sexual fantasies (or at least she enjoys thinking she is), and she and Roland suggest to the Roses new ways they could spice up their own sex lives. She is also 100% looking to unwind, and what better way than to read one of the most popular, scandalously erotic novels of our time. She’d definitely get a kick out of millionaire Christian Grey and the BDSM awakening of Anastasia Steele.

via GIPHY

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Dad Jokes

Dad Jokes

by Joe Kerz

Roland

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t think Roland is reading anything serious—okay, okay, maybe I don’t think Roland is reading anything very serious. He’s too goofy! He definitely has the Dad Jokes book tucked away in his back pocket, which he is particularly excited to try out on the new baby, and thinks that all of the little one’s giggles are actually laughs at his new puns.

via GIPHY

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The Sun Also Rises

The Sun Also Rises

by Ernest Hemingway

Mutt

Mutt is reading Hemingway. All Hemingway. The brevity, the masculinity, the pain, and the adventure—it’s right up his alley. As a man living in a barn, doing things his own way, and being popular with the ladies, he’d be drawn to literary novels written by men about life in the wilderness, loss, and women. Of those things, Hemingway is king, and The Sun Also Rises is a masterful example of Hemingway’s work. The main character suffers from a wound he received in war, rendering him unable to have sex, and he falls in love with a divorcée. They drink, they go camping, they cavort around Europe—and it all comes back to masculinity, nature, and feeling lost.

via GIPHY

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Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs

by Walter Isaacson

Ted

Aw, Ted. Ted, the sweet doctor who thinks he’s got an edge. He’s picking up Steve Jobs, the book that outlines the life of one of the world’s most brilliant minds, and nerding out over its feats of innovation and imagination. He’d be fascinated with the book’s interviews of people who knew Jobs, and of how Jobs became the thinker and business leader that he was.

via GIPHY

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The Bell Jar

The Bell Jar

by Sylvia Plath

Stevie

Stevie’s dry sense of humor and slightly pessimistic view of the world aligns perfectly with some Sylvia Plath. In the novel, Esther Greenwood experiences a number of different parts of life, none of which particularly suit her, and results in her depression and mental breakdown. Women’s identity and roles play a large part in the book, and Stevie would be into it.

via GIPHY

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The Favorite Sister

The Favorite Sister

by Jessica Knoll

Moira

The Favorite Sister is a thriller about two sisters who appear on a reality TV show similar to The Real Housewives, except one of them ends up dead. It’s a twisty, feminist novel centered around the women cast members and the competition, backstabbing, and vanity in their world. The dramaturgic and fame-desiring Moira would be sucked in by the theatrics that ensue between the two sisters vying for the spotlight.

via GIPHY

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Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat

Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat

by Samin Nosrat

Patrick

Raise your hand if you think Patrick is amazing (me!!). He’s an incredibly caring, smart, and sexy partner for David, and I can picture him reading Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat thoroughly and then cooking up the most amazing meal for their next date night. This book is more than just a cookbook, it’s a way of life, centered around the kitchen. The already-irresistible Patrick would be focusing on the practical way to improve his cooking skills, both for himself as a hobby, and for showing his love and affection for David.

via GIPHY

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The Gifted School

The Gifted School

by Bruce Holsinger

David

David is sentimental and sensitive, and also incredibly sharp. In my head, he’s reading The Gifted School, a smart, funny book about a few families who’ve known each other for years, and how their relationships are essentially destroyed when an exclusive school for high achieving children opens in the neighborhood. I can imagine that David enjoys hot fiction novels with big statements behind them, and this book is a great fictional piece of commentary on the drive for achievement in modern America, and the lengths we and our kids go to attain success.

via GIPHY

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Hannah is the Senior Digital Content Manager for Off the Shelf & Book Club Favorites at Simon and Schuster. She’s obsessed with The Great British Bake Off, reads all things magical realism, and eats her way around New York.