Sure, everyone gets sick sometimes, but do you realize that plenty of those folks also die slow, unpleasant deaths from diseases that stumped even the experts at top-notch (still privately run) hospitals? That’s right: There are plenty of illnesses that even physicians have never heard about. Nodding Disease, Alice in Wonderland Syndrome, and Cutaneous Horn (yes, you grow a horn) are all featured here in pithy, energetic entries. You won’t have to worry about socialized medicine if you have this book—even if your doc could see you within a month, you might die due to his ignorance. Lucky for you and your loved ones, Ian Landau (who has no medical training but is a hell of a researcher) includes:

• Descriptions of each disease
• Background and history
• How to diagnose yourself and others
• Suggested treatments
• Prevention methods

The book is not for the faint of heart, as it probably could cause cardiac arrest. (And you ain’t coming back from that without Ian’s help.)