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Take My Wife, Please!

Henny Youngman?s Giant Book of Jokes

Illustrated by Sheila Greenwald and Fred Hausman

It was said of the late Henny Yougnman that he could make the Sphinx crack a smile. For seventy years he tossed out one-liners that sent waves of laughter through audiences all over the country; a Henny Youngman nightclub appearance guaranteed a sold-out engagement. A vaudeville headliner, Youngman also went on to conquer radio and television.
In Take My Wife, Please! Youngman’s enduring routines are collected in one volume. Arapid-fire comic, he could tell six, seven, sometimes even eight jokes a minute, like:
Walked into a store and said, “This is my wife’s birthday. I’d like to buy her a beautiful fountain pen.” The clerk winked at me and said, “A little surprise, huh?” I said, “Yes, she’s expecting a Cadillac.”

You meet the craziest people on the subway. One guy sitting next to me kept saying, “Call me a doctor—call me a doctor.” I asked, “What’s the matter, are you sick?” He said, “No, I just graduated from medical school.”

Youngman began his career with the intention of becoming a concert violinist. When he discovered that he had a talent for making people laugh, the violin became a prop. He was called the King of the One-Liners for good reason, and this collection shows why.