Get through any relationship split with this collection of relatable, impassioned, and irreverent breakup haikus.
When her marriage came to a sudden and infuriating end, noted relationship columnist Kristina Grish turned to writing impassioned breakup haikus as a creative way of processing all the messy and intense feelings she was experiencing.
Now, in F*ck You Haiku, Kristina has compiled more than 100 breakup haikus—inspired by her past breakups as well as universal experiences—to help anyone going through a split deal with their heartbreak via poetry.
Representing a range of emotions and clever ways to vent about your ex, these haikus are entertaining and enraging, as well as enlightening and empowering. So if you’re currently going through a breakup—whether you did the deed or are on the receiving end of it—let this collection of inventive poems help you say “f*ck you” to that special someone and eventually “love you” to yourself.
1. Us Us
Early on in the breakup process, you can’t help but reminisce about how it felt when the two of you were together. Now, the other person’s absence feels palpable, like an unwanted phantom limb. When you’re in bed by yourself, your foot habitually searches for theirs under the covers. You grab your phone to text them, then stop yourself mid-sentence. You consider splitting a recipe and cooking for one, but it doesn’t feel worth the math. Should you even bother to finish your favorite Hulu series alone, since all you’ll want to do is discuss it over leftover Chinese and a bottle of pinot?
You thought they were Your Person.
A freshly cut heart can be a tricky bastard; at the start of a relationship’s end, it clings to mostly sunny memories. Maybe this is how we protect ourselves from getting too upset over making an imperfect choice. Because, sure, they’d call when they said they would, but they never finished your sentences the way an other half should. And while they’d always remember your birthday, their generic gifts made you question whether they understood your desires at all.
A small voice inside likely tried to tell you that things weren’t quite right, even as you told it to hush; nobody’s perfect. Next time, you won’t make the same mistake. Next time, you’ll listen.
Kristina Grish covers women’s lifestyle topics, including health, relationship, celebrity, fashion, fitness, and pop-culture trends for various national magazines. She’s contributed features, essays, and profiles to Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Real Simple, Martha Stewart Living, Martha Stewart Weddings, Women’s Health, Self, Shape, Health, Fitness, Men’s Health, Vibe, and Teen Vogue.
"Her new book, “F*ck You Haiku: Little Breakup Poems to Help You Vent, Heal, and Move On” (Tiller Press), is a collection inspired by past breakups and more universal experiences many will relate to (“Your stuff’s in a box/On the front lawn of my house/Covered in bird s–t.”)."—Mackenzie Dawson, The New York Post