What happens when you bring mindfulness into the bathroom? A whole crapload of inspiring, cleansing, and healing behindfulness, that’s what.

Finally, holding onto your zen doesn’t have to end when you shut the bathroom door. Behindfulness for Beginners hilariously presents the first-ever mindfulness journal specifically designed for those all-important, but often ignored, five-, ten-, eh maybe, fifteen-minute silent sitting sessions that we all do each and every day (serenity willing). So drop trou, take your seat, and prepare to enter a world of peace, relaxation, positive reflection, and fascinating facts about this sacred act:

• The Lost Art of Turtle Breathing: Learn the practice of cleansing kami breathing on the john; a technique named for turtles that can, for some reason, breathe through their butts.
• Look Inside: Reflect on just how much life you hold inside you—like the 100 trillion bacteria currently living in your digestive tract.
• Let That Sh*t Go, Literally: Interactively track just how much baggage you can shed each day (hint: the average person unburdens themselves of between 1 and 2 pounds daily).